Pilgrim Ipsum

How many paragraphs?

I dislike you, capisce? Was he swinging a huge samurai sword at your neck? Excuse me, through a streetcar at your neck? Well, she's only allowed out when the sun is up, so I wouldn't call it dating. It's more like... At least I... Wait... Something... You... insult... Uh...sorry, I guess. I think I'm not getting something. I'm sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces, you slag! Well, honey... I'm a little bi-furious! But if I sign for it you'll leave. I just woke up and you were in my dream. I dreamt that you were delivering me this package. Is that weird? Let's both be girls. No vegan diet, no vegan powers! We're still getting paid, right? Exes. Look, I know Todd was bad news, but are you saying Envy wasn't? We all have baggage. Listen, I know I can be hard to be around sometimes. I totally understand if you don't want to hang anymore. Freeze! Vegan Police! This is the back of the book. Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises... and a fast entrance into hell! Hi. Big fan. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Stephen, the new line-up rocks. You guys sound way better without me. Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... Neil. Bread makes you fat?? Well, it was nice to meet you and tell your gay friends I will see them later. Ve-gone? I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. Guess that's not very nice, but I used to be kind of...like that. We hated everyone, we wrecked stuff, nobody cared. He punched a hole in the moon for me. It was pretty crazy. A week-and-a-half later, he told me his dad was sending him to Vegan Academy, so, I dumped him.

I'll leave you alone forever now. Chicken isn't vegan? He works in a restaurant, Scott, but nice try. Seriously, are you wearing, um, a tan jacket? Like a spring jacket? And a hoodie? Is Ramona with you? Are you serious? There are, like, 200 steps, and the rails are garbage. It's hot! Also? I'm hot, so enjoy it while you can. Uh, Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice. Call us when you're done. Um, Envy... I read your blog. Dude, now I'm totally reading it. [He really doesn't.] Is there anywhere you don't work? Okay, you know how you only use 10% of your brain? That's because the other 90% is filled with curds and whey. No, dude, it's not like that at all. All of our shows are secret shows. Oh, hi. Do you want to know who in my class is gay? One of your famous ultimatums? Attack hug!! Now you listen close and you listen hard, bucko! The next click you hear is me hanging up. The one after that... Is me pulling the trigger! Scotty, you can cheat on many girls as you like. But you can't... cheat... death. I dislike you, capisce? Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Stephen, the new line-up rocks. You guys sound way better without me. Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... Neil. It's milk and eggs, bitch. Scott, are you waiting for the package you just ordered? Is this an Envy-related dream again?

Gelato isn't vegan? So what you're saying is we're dating? I have to go pee due to boredom. It's over Tamara, seriously! He's an idiot and a loser and... and he's a loser and he's an idiot! The League of Evil Exes? Well, it was nice to meet you and tell your gay friends I will see them later. The girl from earlier? We all have baggage. Do you know anything at all about Rome? You don't, do you? Look, I know Todd was bad news, but are you saying Envy wasn't? We all have baggage. Me and Kim? I can barely remember. It was high school. She had freckles. It's no biggie. Um. You know, I know it's early, but I don't think anything can get in the way of how I SHIT! We were just on stage for sound check, and the sound guy hated us! We were lucky to survive the last round. It's sudden death now, okay? Well, if there's a key element in his backstory that's gonna help me out in a critical moment of not dying, yes. Okay, fine. I had to fight a guy to be with her, okay? I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall purple-suited dude, and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him. He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay? And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the Earth. Does that make you feel any better? Wallace, you go now. Begone. Now you listen close and you listen hard, bucko! The next click you hear is me hanging up. The one after that... Is me pulling the trigger! I think Peter hates us for some reason. I mean, it's not our fault we can't afford rent and we come here every month to try to charm our way through, right?...Can you be serious for one second? I hope so amigo. I don't want any more bad blood between exes. What do you say? This guy is such toast. Doesn't he know Scott's the best fighter in the province? Short answer: being vegan just makes you better than most people. That gossipy bitch. We have unfinished business, I and he. That was a test, Jimmy, and you passed.